wash my hands of you

i've decided to give up popcorn for lent. i didn't want to because now i don't know what i'm going to eat everyday, but i suppose i'll find something. my grandmother told me to give up drinking. she told me it would be a big sacrifice. yeah and i'd save so much money and prob loose a few lbs. but since it was christine's birthday i couldn't. imagine the poor girl having to drink all alone?

christine zofia and i went to the bar when i got out of work at 11:30. christine turned 21 as we were walking in an they were playing the beatles, she was beyond excited. we had fun. we didn't go to bed until probably around 3, then christine and i got up at 7am to go home. kill me. i had to go to the dr. apparently im healthy and my dr kept telling me i was normal and that she felt like i needed someone to keep telling me that. ok lady. anyway i had to get blood work too, and apparently you re suppose to fast for like 12 hours before. she asked me if i had eaten breakfast, i said only a rice cake. she decided that would probably be fine. what she didn't ask me was what i ate in the past 12 hours. i had only finished dinner like 10 hours before that, and i had been out drinking all night. oh welll ill probably have awful test results.

after the dr christine and i went to petco, got gas, got coffee, and went to get spray tanned. the only time in both our lives that we know what it feels like to be tan. after tanning we went to the party store, got a few items and then went to the salvation army hoping to find some treasures. no treasures this time. thennnnn we went to the MSPCA and fell in love with the cutest kitten besides sam. his name was jake, but i would change it to mickey. we put in adoption papers even though someone already had applied for his adoption, we'll see. of course this kitten is not for us, although we really wanna keep him, we were adopting him for steve because hes to lazy to do it himself. after falling in love with the furball, we went to the RMV. we sat there for a good hour or so, on the most uncomfortable wooden benches. more uncomfortable than a pew. anyway christine and i were in a really silly mood all day (prob from a combination of hangover and overtiredness) and we making the kid sitting next to us laugh so hard. its amazing the strange people you see come and go at a place like that. where do all the normal people go??
by the time we left we were starving again, so we stopped by the grandparents hoping to score some lunch. no luck. but it was nice visiting with them. we stopped and got spinach pie, and hit the open road back to B. we pit stopped at the liquor store, then christine forced me to stop at the market so we could get snacks and jello. good thing i went in because i got a vitamin water that i may have ended up dying without. i was so tired and cranky on the ride home i wanted to die. we finally arrived home around 3 and i climbed right in bed and didn't get up til almost 7.

i did more errands yesterday than i've done in a long time.

hang me out to dry

the days that make us happy, make us wise.


so we had family dinner tonight, and as usual most of the conversation revolved around the wedding. planning, showers, gifts, wine, dresses and such. so my aunt tells me that aaron is invited, which i know will make christine happy. then i say outloud "i'm the only one who isnt bringing a date" my aunt told me that it was okay and erin and andrew had friends from va that were cute and i'd still have fun. i know i'll still have fun, thats not the point. the rule for this wedding apparently is that you do not automaticly get a +1, if you have a steady significant other, then they can come. so i am the only one without one. sweet. table for one, please!

the rest of my weekend was fun, i forgot my camera so i have no pics to post =( unless Jenni sends me them! plleaseee!!

friday tatiana came up! yayaya. and jenni and MEG came over too. the boys came in and we all hung out for awhile and went out to dinner. i ordered a pomagrante champtini. it was so good i nearly died. after dinner we went to the bar and met up with some of the other girls which was nice, a big college reunion! yeayeayea. everyone was pretty fucked up by the time we came back here, but we still stayed up til 4:30 for who knows what reason. then meg woke us all up at 8am when she got kicked out of bed. ahaha. girl is nuts, threatening to throw her bag at the wall. haha when we finally decided to peel ourselves out of bed, we went out for a delicious breakfast. so wonderful. then tat jenni and i laid around cracked out all day, went to ash's to see their place, which is soo soo cute. loved the love nest.

before we left east boston, we called a sub place to pick up food on our way home. they told us it would be 40 minutes. when does it ever take FORTY MINUTES to make three cold sandwiches. so tat called back to confirm that this nonsense was the truth, and they were all like yea i don't know how important you think you are but there are plenty of people's orders ahead of you. so she thanked them for being rude and canceled the order. haha i would have been like omg im so sorry thank you sooo much. so we stopped somewhere else, inhaled our food while getting ready, then trucked it down to milton to see Chardy's play. she was amazing! i was so happy to see the girls, i miss them a lot. after having some wine at mindy's tat and i came back here and loved each other haha. miss that girl already =)

silence isn't golden

so last night i started losing my voice, it was pretty gone this morning when i woke up, but not so bad all day...now its completely gone. i can only whisper. MY LIFE SUCKS. this happens to me probably once a winter, and its pure misery. i have so many things i want to say outloud but i cant talk. im going insane.

anyway, tat and i just watched forgetting sarah marshall. i liked it i guess. it was cute but so cliche and of course they fall in love at the end. blahblahblah. now we are watching the last kiss because i think its heartbreaking and a little depressing. hopefully ill fall asleep by the end when they fall in love again.

i looove sammy and i hate hate hate not being able to talk. its making me feel like tatiana is talking so much. i think im jealous, she keeps talking and i cant even respond =( so sad.

leaving you

so as some of you may have noticed, i am again off facebook. no reason really. just felt like it. and sap just got rid of his for the second time and kind of talked me into it. so far so good. i don't really miss it. the first day i was off i went to log in probably three times and once got into the log-in page i realized it was gone. but i've found other things to do with my time. like speed date. haha not yet.


this weekend was valentines. OHH MY GOD how i just loove loove loove this lovers holiday. but seriously, its fake and lame holiday. i don't know who made it up, but they obviously weren't think about the lonely fools out there. i suppose its nice to express your love for one day in the most depressing month of the whole year.

my aunt and uncle came over with my cousin and his girlfriend and christine and aaron made dinner for them. it was actually really nice because katie and i went shopping and i spent about $200 on clothes (don't tell my financial advisor) so i was in a good mood when i got home. while they had dinner, kt and i painted our nails and we all had a lot of wine. after, we went to meet kris, ash and whita for din din @ match. whit was there first so the three of us sat at the bar and had martinis. that should have never happened. usually i have decent self control and can say no to a martini, and for some reason, i don't know if it was cupid or my pink leopard tights but i could not resist. i ordered the San Francisco shake up, for no other reason except that i'm moving there. then kristin and ash arrived and we sat. the only solid food i ate were mussels, soup and spinach. i continued with the SF shake ups, and that only lead to my demise. at dinner we were entertained by the drunkest girl alive sitting at the table behind us. at first, the dga couldn't keep her eyes open, that lead to being straight up passed out. she at there with her head melted into the table. the funny thing was that her friends just continued enjoying their dinner as if nothing was wrong, laughing and gossiping away. finally the dga got asked to leave, and apparently she felt she hadn't left her mark yet because she threw up a full plate of spaghetti on her way out. she then fell trying to get in a cab and got denied by at least three others. poor girl. she must have just gotten dumped by her boyfriend of 6 years. my heart goes out to you dga!


so after dinner we made our way to the bar, which wasn't particularly fun, but whatever. then katie and i found ourselves alone and not ready to go home so we met rob at another bar which was dead, but nice. all katie did was talk shit about my blog the whole time. you suck katie. then we went to the hilton, called a cab, actually got one, and came home. i made myself puke as soon as i walked through the door. had to. i would have hated my life sunday if i didn't. i liked my life yesterday. we passed out on the couch til 7am then we finally went to bed.

i saw hes just not that into you last night. i liked it. it was really true in a lot of ways, but i don't think boys should be aloud to see it. it made girls look totally nuts. whit and meag cried, if my heart wasn't frozen, i probably would have too. i felt it. it made me feel weird though, made me realize how totally cynical i am and it is for absolutely, or almost absolutely, for no reason.

so my life regarding work sucks now, my whole day revolves around going into work. i got up, made coffee, went to the gym and then to work. totally lame.

i just got home and i'm relaxing, watching tv with aaron and chris and this commercial comes on...its all in spanish, spanish dialouge, spanish writing, all to the little mermaid. thethree of us just sat there confused, until the end when it said something about keeping our oceans clean. ummm why is there a commercial on E! targeting spanish people who love oceans? weird. then on the soup they featured this youtube video which we are now watching repeatedly and dying laughing. and i don't usually laugh at youtube vids. so check it out and laugh your head off.

kittens, inspired by kittens.

I'm as good as gone.

so last night we had the girls over for dinner. we actually sat at the kitchen table for once! and dinner was very nice. i layed in bed the whole time it was being prepared, buttt i did cut up the garlic bread! and as promised, i did the dishes after :)

so i went home the other day. i was so bored after 10 minutes, i couldn't imagine still living there. not that there is anything wrong with living at home, i just need to be away. my parents tell me i should move home every time i'm there. oh well. i told my dad if he started making me lunches for work and coffee in the am i'd consider it.

i had a dream last night that i was going into labor. all i remember is knowing i was going into labor somewhere random and then Cassie and I were driving around boston, and i was on the phone with my mom who was like "you're not even in any pain? leave it to you to give birth on Friday the 13th." like i have control over that mom.

one of my patient's sons talked to me for legit 45mins today. he was really interesting though. he was telling me about how one of his sons is in kenya right now on a fellowship and about how he had this crazy breakdown when he was there and had to come home. when it was time for him to go back, he went with him. he was telling me all the crazy shit he saw when he was there. his views on things were actually really refreshing. he told me how he thought of everyone being born like a cake, and all the material shit we add to our lives are just the frosting. how some people were so obsessed with their frosting that when it all got washed away there was no cake left underneath. but people that kept themselves in check so to speak still had their cake left when all the frosting was gone. he told me that he thought i was the type of person that didn't get too worried about the frosting, "i'm sure you like nice things, but you seem to really care about the things worth caring about." he kept telling me how young i was and how as a grew up id start seeing things in grey, and not just black and white. i told him i felt like i was already realizing so much. his father was dying. every morning before he got there i would have to feed him his breakfast and every morning he choked on it.

my room is so messy. katie and i decided to lay on the floor and see if christine could find us. haha you can only see kt in this pic, but im right next to her, blending.

there always happens to be a pair of my underwear right in my doorway, as if i drop them to my ankles as soon as i walk in. strange.

so i guess i'll go clean my room before going out to dinner...or maybe ill paint my nails...hmm.

so my ADD has been off the charts lately. i had a pathways class yesterday for work and i couldn't even pretend to concentrate. it was torture.

katie, rob, and i went out for sushi last night too. it was delicious. we knew what we wanted before we even got there. I've also made the decision to quit smoking. i feel like it gives me anxiety when i don't do it for awhile and i hate that. also the past two times i have I've completely regretted it, both for the same reason. so we'll see.

i told sb not to talk to me anymore, which i meant and didn't mean at the same time. i really haven't thought about him lately, and would continue to not think about him if he would just leave me alone. i feel like he has this alarm that goes off whenever I'm happy without him that he needs to contact me. he is so nice and i think he means well...but don't tell me you and your girlfriend of almost two years are breaking up soon and how she thinks its so much more serious than it is and that the sooner you guys break up the sooner we can get back together, did i mention i cant wait to marry you? like get a fucking grip. i think you are amazing, and i think that when we were together things were good, but like i cant keep being strung along. and I'm sick of being the girl that likes the boys with girlfriends. why do i always find myself in these situations? I'm not even the boyfriend stealing type, so don't worry ladies. i wont steal your boyfriends, I'll just stay in love with him forever until finally i realize how retarded I'm being. so that's that.

i had a half day of work today which was nice. the morning went by so fast. i followed the two wound care specialists today. they are two RNs in their mid-forties maybe, and they were nuts. when i first got their they were dancing around in their office to taylor swift. and one was like you know taylor swift and you didn't even know chris brown?! anyway all day as we roamed around the whole hospital looking at huge wounds and stomas they asked me about a million questions about my life. they made me show them my facebook, then asked if it would be weird if they had it. so then of coursed they asked everyone;s favorite question...so why don't you have a boyfriend?! you're so cute, and nice... what do people expect you to say to that? "oh no one really sees me in that way i guess" i told them i was too picky, which is the truth i guess. i should have said I'm emotionally unavailable. whatever.

so then i visited derek. which was the same as usual. i laid on the couch and watching tv the whole time. then i went to the dentist to get a cleaning. NO CAVITIES! yayyy. the hygienist actually said, and i quote "wow katelyn your teeth are perfect" thank you very much.

90 minute massage tonight? yes please!

that's not my name

this post is going to be so blah blah blah. so stop reading now if you re looking for entertainment. just wanted to list a few things

• my weekend was phenomenal
• driving forever doesn't always feel like forever
• i cant stand the rare times i have to be in meetings at work. its always with all women and i always get distracted and pick out the people who need to get their hair done and wondering what I'm going to have for dinner.
• love actually IS a good movie thank you very much.
• music makes almost anything better
• new york is fun, but i love Boston
• tootsie pops are a battle between your teeth and your tongue
• conversation is everything, not matter which form it comes in
• my cousin told me today that when we were younger i told her that someday someone would ask her to draw a star and if she couldn't, they would kill. so harsh huh?
• i always try to drink more water, than hate myself when I'm peeing every 8 minutes
• dating is fun
• my room is so messy it drives me crazy, but not crazy enough to put my computer down and clean it
• it's Monday and i already can't wait for the weekend, along with most of the world i suppose
• i probably say "take a deep breath" more than any other phrase on a daily bases.
• i don't take enough deep breaths myself.
• if it weren't for a few people in this world, i wouldn't believe in love. and still only those few don't have me completely convinced.
• there are so many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how.
• Sammy gets cuter every time i see him. except when hes being annoying
• i never thought I'd miss the food i ate in china
• people watching is the ultimate past time. i love thinking about what other peoples lives are like.
• i play it off like i don't, but i love salty skin so much i used to lick my arms after swimming in the ocean when i was younger, sometimes I'll still sneak it
• there is no such thing as small change
• with that, umass is as close to death as i hope i will ever come
• being weird is fun, some people should try it more
• i feel like this list is actually how my brain works; just strings of random thoughts all day.
• i know you hate my ADD, but i know you really don't.
• i would never want to go to cheers because i would go nuts if i went somewhere and everyone knew my name. come onnn.
• i sometimes picture my life as a movie. not dramatic like movies but just with montages and fast forwards and a soundtrack
• i haven't read a book since i started my job.
• i just want to know you.
• out of sight does mean out of mind. usually.
• i could go on forever, but my roommates think I'm anti-social

426 mi

i really have nothing to say. except, i sometimes drive myself crazy, and sometimes...i let you drive me crazy.

gh day

so today is ground hog day. sweet. so dear old Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today. figures. six more weeks of winter.

i feel like every Feb. 2 is always sunny for some weird reason, because every other day is dark and dreary. so the thing is obviously going to see his shadow.

the deal is he his shadow, gets scared and goes back into is little hole and no spring for six extra weeks. the way i see it though is that if he sees his shadow, it must mean its sunny, therefore it should mean spring is coming early.

and how does he know to make an appearance today? what does it say about the forcast if he flakes and forgets to show up?

when i was younger i took this day so seriously. i was like wow this little guy has a lot of weight on his shoulders. and id wait all morning to find out. it was so intense. i was totally duped.

saturday had the strangest series of events.

so after being the weirdest girls all day saturday, it was finally time for Kath and I to come back and reboot for a new night. so to get home we had to take the T. sounds harmless. Well, Friday night before going out, we thought we were soo smart for packing pajamas, only we weren't that smart because we didn't bring shoes to wear with our pajamas. so getting home the next day, kath was just like i'll but my pants back on and wear my heels home, me on the other hand didn't wear pants out and my tights were completely shredded so i had no choice but to wear sweatpants and high heel boots on the T home. absolutely ridiculous. if i only could have read people's minds, because i was getting some looks. we were so cracked out.

so we finally showered, changed and got ready to go out again. we did a little finagling before leaving and got our own fix. called and cab and were on our way.

so i thought id start some harmless small talk with the cab driver which lead to him telling us about he is on match.com and all the women he met so far. first of all this guy was like 38, mexican and from texas. so he tells us about peggy, who is from florida and when he saw her pic, she was about 335 pounds, she was deleted. then he tells us he found a sixteen year old that sent a naked pic of herself with belts all around her body. i asked if he deleted her because its illegal but he said he liked her pic too much. ok. so that was that we scooted out as fast as we could. and he promised he'd be waiting to pick us up later. i'm wishing now he didn't know where i lived.

so we get to the bar and all the lights were on and it was the most random mix of people. we met up with kath's boyfriend and his friends. one of them had a limo for a reason i still do not know so we all jumped in there to drive around. worst idea. i had to pee so bad i truly thought i might die. i couldn't even talk, i couldn't even think. it sucked. finally we stopped in a parking lot to pee. of alllll the places in this little city of mine the driver thinks its okay to let us pee in a parking lot. ughh whatever. then we finally get to our destination. another dive.

they had every flavor Smirnoff vodka. it was unusual.

so honestly, to my best friend kath... CAATTHHHH. i am so happy for you. even if your boyfriend is weird. haha and thinks I'm a porn star. because you are happy, i am happy. i think that he is entertaining and moreover, i feel he would never do anything to hurt you.

you two are maniacs and I'm sorry he opened up his world of porn to me. haha

after the bar we got back into the limo because getting a cab at that time is absolutely hopeless. we went to one of the boy's places in Southie. the boy that everytime i looked towards him he was staring at me. no big deal. anyway i decided to give myself a tour and peaked into a bedroom with the door closed. always a bad idea. i quickly closed it in case someone was actually in there sleeping and/or getting some. later in the night i opened my mouth about something in the apartment and asked who's it was. apparently this boy's roommate had just killed himself in his bedroom (the room i peaked in) just last wednesday. so pretty faded from the night, kath and i immediately start asking a million questions.

*i don't know how i feel about the suicide situation. it creeps me out to think someone could truly decide on such a final act. on one hand, i feel that some people really are so deeply unhappy and troubled that if they wish to take their own life, no one can stop them. they will eventually do it. buttt, i think it also is a very selfish act. and i know the person doesn't know how the loss will affect those around them, but it makes people feel naked and confused. in this situation the kid told me he thinks the kid has only been like upset for the past two weeks or so, i do not believe someone decides suicide is for them in only two weeks. also now this boy has to live in the apartment with all those memories and feelings. he is now probably going to look for a new place. but he was just so confused about his emotions because he was sad, but he was so mad that his friend did this to them, left to find him in his room. it really brings a surge of emotions and you do not know how to feel about anything.

so after that whole situation, we decided it was time to go home. we arrived on my front porch to find three boys at the door telling me that i didn't live here. they told us we were too fucked up and didn't realize we were at the wrong house. i don't even think i was being a bitch, i think i went along with it. finally after five minutes i didn't think it was funny anymore and i just took my key, opened the door and went upstairs.

we got in at almost 4 and watched Best Week Ever. the fucking 18+ kids wedding special show was featured on it. i was beyond thrilled. i almost fell off the couch laughing.

Kath had to wake up at 8:30 for work this am, better than 6:30 i guess. i wasn't sure for awhile there if she was going to make it, but calling out is for losers who can't hold their own. she made it after getting lost on the way to the highway and ending up in cambridge. oops haha. move here and you wont have to leave anymore.

what a whirlwind of a weekend.

weirdest girls

so here's a glimpse at the weird things we're up to when we aren't part of the world for days..

group shoooot. kath is so excited to be alive.


MY VALENTINE:
mamaaaa.

while i crashed on the couch....like an ANGEL

whit and kath found something out:

CREEPS.

we decided to leave the house after splitting an egg sandwich four ways. so i went out dressed in turquoise sweat pants, and light blue rain boots. it was probably the windiest day in Boston. it sucked. Meaghan and I decided to go to City Sports, while Whita and Kath went to Filene's Basement. You guys go to City Sports, we'll go to Filenes. OK we'll go to Filene's while you guys are at City Sports. We didn't even have any luck. Whats it take to get a good water bottle these days? So we went home and melted into our respective couch cushions. ONE CUSH EACH.

dinosaur colors<3

we watched tv all day. degrassi is like the best show for the thoughtless mind. the idiot high school girl smoked a joint before her college fair then had to meet with someone from the college she wanted to go to. she completely freaked and blurted out I AM SO HIGH. i could have smacked her. come on girl get a grip. freak out in the bathroom, even have an anxiety attack if you wish, then get your ass out there and act natural. rule number one. then her stupid friend was bitching at her boyfriend the whole episode, poor kid, and at the end she breaks down and yells at her boyfriend "you decided to wear the jumbo condom and it slipped off and now I'm pregnant" I'm gonna go out on a limb there and say that's a double whammy for that poor 16 year old fool. he has a small wiener andd knocked his girl up, then he crashed his car. wow high school really does have a lot of drama. i tried to sleep the rest of the afternoon because whit wouldn't stop talking and i didn't want to respond and they decided to watch the repeat of the fucked up family with 18 kids and the no kissing til the wedding bullshit show again. more fucked up the second time around.

so then we got to talking about tails, and how sweet life would be if humans had them. hahaha. so awesome.

kath had to work hungover today, so it was just whita and i. you were missed friend.

just hanging out. weirdos

mean green nail polish RULES!

danny, ricky, joey, bobby...

friday afternoon kath came to visit (we get her every other weekend). so we decide to go to saint with whit to meet up with kris and some of her friends.

my outfit rocked. bloused, obv.

and once we are there we promised each other we wont dance. no exceptions.

within two minutes of being there, i whisper to kath that I'm probably gonna leave early.within ten minutes of being there we hit the dance floor, under the direction of whita of course.

the rest of the night was a blur. the crowd was not my kinda of crowd, but regardless we had a lot of fun. this really nice boy (wise maybe? ;) ) bought me a shot which we both absolutely did not need, nonetheless it was the thought that counts.

before leaving we met Trinidad and Tobago, also very nice. hahaha i don't even know what to say to them except whit really thought it was a good idea to tell them to come over. they didn't. phhew.

i thought these people completely going at it in the corner were cute. man its amazing the love you can find at bars these days.

peace be with you.

i lose everything

so a few weeks ago i lost my whole wallet. i stopped at petco in nh when i was home, then came back to my apartment and got ready to go out and right before i walked out the door i realized i had left my wallet in the carriage at petco. i freaked out for a little and then just went out with my phone and lip gloss. the next day some man called and told me he had found and it my dad went and picked it up for me. GOD BLESS HIM. i'm an idiot.

then this past week i go to the market after the gym and decide it will be easiest if i just put my debit card into my jacket pocket so i don't have to carry anything around the store. as I'm checking out in line, i realize my card is no longer with me. i act cool and tell the cashier i must have dropped it then i run around the store like a freak looking for it. eventually i go to customer service and they had it. sweet. saved again.

so last night I'm at the bar, and i go to close my tab. so i bartender is like ok sure. then hes like oh hold on its gonna be a minute. so I'm standing there for a few minutes and he turns around and hes like OMG IT WAS ON THE GROUND! I'm like wha?? hes like "i thought i lost your card but it was on the ground, i was freaking out" i was like oh haha good thing ya found it!

i swear that little card has legs and likes to run away from me every chance it gets. luckily there is such thing as good karma.